danielbryanxxxI flew home from New Orleans on Tuesday. A day after Raw, two days after Wrestlemania and a million years from WWE Battleground, and the buzz has not stopped. I have not come down. I am still feeling the ultimate high of Wrestlemania XXX. I wish I could do it all over. I wish I could go back in time and spend hundreds more dollars to sit a few rows closer. To be a bigger part of it, so I could feel even more of what I already do. Wrestlemania XXX is a drug that I wish I could do every day for the rest of my life.

But it's not a drug I can do every day or even one more time. It was one day, a little over four hours of one day, that is gone and will always be gone. Sure, I can watch it again on the WWE Network and buy the DVD and everything else, but it'll never be like it was that day. It will remind me of that moment, but I'll never live that moment again. It was truly epic. Wrestling is the best.

My road to Wrestlemania started way back when New Orleans was announced as the host city. I distinctly remember being at a friend's house for Wrestlemania XXIX and saying that I wouldn't be at their house next year because I would be in New Orleans. I was right, but before that there was many conversations between myself and my girlfriend and myself and my friends that went like this:

Are you going? Should we go?
Well, I want to go.
Me too. Okay, let's go.
I'm not sure.
Yeah me neither.

Classic procrastination and worries about money. That was it, but by August we had made the decision. We were going. I booked a hotel room. Two months later I bought flights which was basically the soonest Southwest would let me buy a flight for April. We waited and waited until the Wrestlemania pre-sale and then we bought tickets the morning they went on sale so we could sit together, all seven of us. My girlfriend and I saved thousands of dollars to make this the trip of a lifetime. We feared the worst when Batista won the Rumble, but we tried to stay positive. We tried to believe that when the day finally came that this would be one of the great all-time Wrestlemanias. And you know what? Read More →

paullondonThere is a lot going on in the wrestling world right now - Chikara is back, WWE Network, Wrestlemania season, an indies renaissance, Cesaro taking over the world and releasing the greatest shirt in professional wrestling history - but few things have been as exciting and original as PAUL LONDON: HERO OF THE PROPHECY.

In what I can only assume is a story based on true events Paul London is the Hero of the Prophecy and is the only one who can defeat an evil wizard with a mysterious artifact. Paul is transported to another world where he teams with the resistance (a warrior-ess and an owl faced wizard) to train for his fight with the evil wizard. It's Paul London in a space wizard action comedy and it is the best thing.

This is what happens when pro wrestlers set out to do something creatively that is not pro wrestling and it totally works. The Chikara Ashes videos were good, but they were missing some of that "Chikara magic" (probably because they were so serious). In this Paul London takes the Wrestler In A Non-Wrestling Story to a whole other level and the results are awesome. While genre-wise this won't be for everyone (which is good because good stuff isn't for everyone), this does set a great template for wrestlers doing great things outside of wrestling by flexing their creative muscles. Paul London teamed with his brother Jonathan and William Bibbiani to create this Edgar Wright-esque tribute to 80's sci-fi and fantasy sword and sorcery films and it works. It really works. I hope it gets picked up for six seasons and a movie.

I'm excited to see where this goes and I'm even more excited to see how others attempt to follow in London's footsteps. I think wrestling fans want to support wrestlers in things outside of wrestling. Why else would Fozzy sell so many albums? I love Paul London so I support this. Simple. This video should be a message to all the other wrestlers out there: if you have something you are passionate about, do it. You don't have to kill yourself in the ring always and forever. Not anymore. Find some cool people to work with and do it. Be creative. The audience will find you.

archie-tdOn May 25th, 2014, exactly 12 years after their first show, Chikara is back. This is good news. No, this is great news. For the wrestling fan who has found their love of wrestling in the eight months without Chikara this couldn't have come a day sooner. As WWE fails to understand the wants of their most dedicated fans and TNA continues to fail to understand the basic idea of good business, the return of Chikara is the greatest thing. I can't wait for Chikara to return.

Which isn't to say that it is all sunshine and roses. At the end of the long eight months I find myself with more questions than answers. I know that this was designed, that this was a story and that Chikara had to tell this story to get to where they wanted to go. I know all of this, but I still have one question: why?

Before we get further into that let's catch everyone up with the story and how we got here: Read More →

Daniel Bryan Yes CageI'm sure there have been times in the history of professional wrestling that a company has botched a story as badly as WWE is botching the Daniel Bryan story, but it sure doesn't feel like it right now. People are mad. Really mad. I have tickets to four WWE events in the next two months (including Wrestlemania and the Raw after) and I don't even feel like going. Let me reiterate that point: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE BIGGEST SHOW AND MOST FUN SHOW OF THE YEAR. This is absolute insanity and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

There are a lot of reasons for the malaise surrounding people's feelings about WWE, but the biggest one has to be Daniel Bryan and his storyline. For whatever reason the WWE decided that isn't what they want to do and it has completely ruined things for many fans. Batista coming back was something that threw a wrench in the mix, but it shouldn't have ruined things quite to this level. The Wrestlemania rumors at this point are terrible and fans are unhappy. WWE doesn't seem to be listening and we're nearing a breaking point for many people. Why is this happening? How did we get here? Read More →

I am a big fan of the CM Punk DVD Best in the World. I think it's the best thing WWE has ever produced and it's not really all that close. It's inspiring, it's entertaining and it tells CM Punk's story the exact way that it should be told. Which is to say that it climaxes with the pipebomb and ends with him holding the WWE title. In the movie, he wins. The undergcmpunkrockround overcame the machine and he became The Guy. It's how his story should've ended.

Unfortunately, as we've seen time and time again you can change WWE for a day, or a month, but WWE will never truly change. Vince McMahon and Triple H are tied to the idea of "larger than life" characters who are big guys with big muscles who they think make people stop when flipping channels and say "who's that?" This idea has worked for them for a long time (I guess) and Punk much like Bryan now doesn't fit that idea. Why they never think that people flipping channels wouldn't say "hey who is that guy that the crowd is absolutely losing their shit for?" and stick around, I don't know. How they don't realize that basically every channel has someone with big muscles now or that the fanbase that they do have has money that spends just as well, I don't know either.

This is a sad reality. The wrestling fans love wrestlers who are good and the people in charge of the wrestlers like bodybuilders, but we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about how CM Punk won. CM Punk climbed to the highest top that he was allowed to climb to and stayed there for a modern day record. His reign honestly kind of sucked, but he did it. He turned too soon because WWE is scared of the idea of there being a 1A to Cena's 1 and he was forced to change his character in a way that made him less like the guy that everyone loved in the first place, but he did it. He got everything he said he wanted: souvenir cups, PPV posters, guest spots on TV shows. He made it. No matter what happens afterwards there is nothing WWE or anyone can do to take away the Best in the World DVD.
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Is this you?

MAN WWE REALLY BURIED DANIEL BRYAN THIS TIME I QUIT WWE WATCHING FOREVER NOW I HAVE TWO WRESTLEMANIA TICKETS FOR SALE AND I WON'T BE GETTING WWE NETWORK I HATE YOU VINCE AND TRIPLE H \ / SUCK \*/ IT \/

If it is, I'm here for you. You're right that was a pretty crappy thing for WWE to do. I mean, they never even announced Daniel Bryan for the Rumble, but they also never did that thing where Triple H was all mean and told him he wouldn't be. He just wasn't which made it seem like he would be, but then he wasn't and it was the worst. Let's just settle down and we can all look at this rationally.

Is this you?rumble_batista_wm_sign

WWE DOES NOT EVEN LISTEN TO THEIR FANS. WE WANT BRYAN. NOT BATISTA. SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE. UGH!

If so, I'm here for you too. Things do seem very same-old, same-old right now. I ordered a Royal Rumble in 2005 hoping that Batista would win and now here we are nine years later and he is winning another one that I prayed he would not. What a difference a decade makes.

Let's just stop and think about this for a second:

At the Royal Rumble Daniel Bryan....

  • Had the best match of the night
  • Absolutely made Bray Wyatt look like a serious threat, enough of a threat that he is now Cena-worthy
  • Stole the show, both with his match and even more so with his absence from the Rumble match
  • Made the internet explode

That's not bad for a guy who is being buried, that's almost like a guy who isn't being buried at all... wait, what? Stick with me here. Read More →

Over the weekend I was sent this video from a mysterious source. It shows a preview of the next Ashes video which will feature Green Ant and the Colony's search for Soldier Ant taking them to a mysterious bar where UltraMantis Black is. Is this Parts Unknown? Will 3.0 make their way here as well? Does UMB know where Soldier Ant is?

This looks like it's going to be a good one. Read More →

I knew this day would come, yet I wasn't mentally or emotionally ready for it. The season one finale of Total Divas has come and gone, and I'm still coping. What will I do on Sunday nights? How will I know what's going on in the personal lives of the Divas? What will I blog about?! So many questions, and so few answers - AND I have to wait until March for Total Divas to return? Worst Christmas present ever.

But let's get right into it, shall we? The season finale did not disappoint storyline wise, so I hope you're prepared for this heaping helping of divalicious drama.

nattie-steph

Nattie: Let's dig into the drama right away with Nattie. First of all, whyyyy did they not show the Diva's night out in New Orleans? All we got were short, weird recap clips that seemed like a mix between The Real World and a poorly scripted sitcom with bad actresses. Anyway, Nattie entered the infamous #BrieMode and shit got ca-razy! We first saw Nattie as she was waking up after the NOLA night amidst a mess of feathers, masquerade masks, and beads (OMG YOU THINK NATTIE FLASHED ANYONE?!). Read More →

When we last left our friends in Hoganville they took a break from sleeping in the same bed and going to breakfast to befriend a lost horse that was being chased by bad guys (who were surprisingly not Roddy Piper) and even taken him to the gym with them to help them work out. It was an extra long episode that had so much plot development that we had to string it in to two parts. That second part? IS RIGHT NOW.

Everything is going good and the guys are just working out. Lou Albano has rigged his machine to feed him a sub BECAUSE HE'S FAT. I know this is a kid's cartoon and everything, but why did Captain Lou get saddled with the fat gimmick? If you wanted to have a guy eating all the time wouldn't it be Andre? He's a GIANT. He needs to eat just to sustain himself. Anyways, things are going good until the bad guyz show up.

vlcsnap-2013-12-11-23h04m35s27 Read More →

This week's episode of Total Divas was filled with, what else, DRAMA.  It also featured a lot of awkward diva interactions, much to my enjoyment.  Props to the E! Network for centering the episode around Night of Champions, which coincidentally was where all the drama climaxed and was eventually resolved.  Well, most of it was resolved.  My heart will always be missing a little Gismo-shaped piece *tear* But more on that later.  Here's what went down in Divaland this week.

totaldivas-ariane Read More →