I'm sure there have been times in the history of professional wrestling that a company has botched a story as badly as WWE is botching the Daniel Bryan story, but it sure doesn't feel like it right now. People are mad. Really mad. I have tickets to four WWE events in the next two months (including Wrestlemania and the Raw after) and I don't even feel like going. Let me reiterate that point: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE BIGGEST SHOW AND MOST FUN SHOW OF THE YEAR. This is absolute insanity and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
There are a lot of reasons for the malaise surrounding people's feelings about WWE, but the biggest one has to be Daniel Bryan and his storyline. For whatever reason the WWE decided that isn't what they want to do and it has completely ruined things for many fans. Batista coming back was something that threw a wrench in the mix, but it shouldn't have ruined things quite to this level. The Wrestlemania rumors at this point are terrible and fans are unhappy. WWE doesn't seem to be listening and we're nearing a breaking point for many people. Why is this happening? How did we get here? Read More →
I am a big fan of the CM Punk DVD Best in the World. I think it's the best thing WWE has ever produced and it's not really all that close. It's inspiring, it's entertaining and it tells CM Punk's story the exact way that it should be told. Which is to say that it climaxes with the pipebomb and ends with him holding the WWE title. In the movie, he wins. The underground overcame the machine and he became The Guy. It's how his story should've ended.
Unfortunately, as we've seen time and time again you can change WWE for a day, or a month, but WWE will never truly change. Vince McMahon and Triple H are tied to the idea of "larger than life" characters who are big guys with big muscles who they think make people stop when flipping channels and say "who's that?" This idea has worked for them for a long time (I guess) and Punk much like Bryan now doesn't fit that idea. Why they never think that people flipping channels wouldn't say "hey who is that guy that the crowd is absolutely losing their shit for?" and stick around, I don't know. How they don't realize that basically every channel has someone with big muscles now or that the fanbase that they do have has money that spends just as well, I don't know either.
This is a sad reality. The wrestling fans love wrestlers who are good and the people in charge of the wrestlers like bodybuilders, but we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about how CM Punk won. CM Punk climbed to the highest top that he was allowed to climb to and stayed there for a modern day record. His reign honestly kind of sucked, but he did it. He turned too soon because WWE is scared of the idea of there being a 1A to Cena's 1 and he was forced to change his character in a way that made him less like the guy that everyone loved in the first place, but he did it. He got everything he said he wanted: souvenir cups, PPV posters, guest spots on TV shows. He made it. No matter what happens afterwards there is nothing WWE or anyone can do to take away the Best in the World DVD.
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I knew this day would come, yet I wasn't mentally or emotionally ready for it. The season one finale of Total Divas has come and gone, and I'm still coping. What will I do on Sunday nights? How will I know what's going on in the personal lives of the Divas? What will I blog about?! So many questions, and so few answers - AND I have to wait until March for Total Divas to return? Worst Christmas present ever.
But let's get right into it, shall we? The season finale did not disappoint storyline wise, so I hope you're prepared for this heaping helping of divalicious drama.
Nattie: Let's dig into the drama right away with Nattie. First of all, whyyyy did they not show the Diva's night out in New Orleans? All we got were short, weird recap clips that seemed like a mix between The Real World and a poorly scripted sitcom with bad actresses. Anyway, Nattie entered the infamous #BrieMode and shit got ca-razy! We first saw Nattie as she was waking up after the NOLA night amidst a mess of feathers, masquerade masks, and beads (OMG YOU THINK NATTIE FLASHED ANYONE?!). Read More →
When we last left our friends in Hoganville they took a break from sleeping in the same bed and going to breakfast to befriend a lost horse that was being chased by bad guys (who were surprisingly not Roddy Piper) and even taken him to the gym with them to help them work out. It was an extra long episode that had so much plot development that we had to string it in to two parts. That second part? IS RIGHT NOW.
Everything is going good and the guys are just working out. Lou Albano has rigged his machine to feed him a sub BECAUSE HE'S FAT. I know this is a kid's cartoon and everything, but why did Captain Lou get saddled with the fat gimmick? If you wanted to have a guy eating all the time wouldn't it be Andre? He's a GIANT. He needs to eat just to sustain himself. Anyways, things are going good until the bad guyz show up.
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This week's episode of Total Divas was filled with, what else, DRAMA. It also featured a lot of awkward diva interactions, much to my enjoyment. Props to the E! Network for centering the episode around Night of Champions, which coincidentally was where all the drama climaxed and was eventually resolved. Well, most of it was resolved. My heart will always be missing a little Gismo-shaped piece *tear* But more on that later. Here's what went down in Divaland this week.
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This week's episode of Total Divas was pretty lackluster. Sure, we got to see more of John Cena's mega-mansion and the show opened with Trinity jiggling her boobs all over, but overall, eh. Maybe I need more catfights, or maybe I need less JoJo (ha), but what I definitely need is more of Nattie's acting skills and way more of Josie.
I'm sure the E! Network will get right on that, so for now, let's GET THAT CHINGLE CHINGLE
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While watching Total Divas this week I had a thought, Total Divas isn't really all that good of a show, but I'm glad it exists. I love wrestling, but you can't just watch wrestling 24/7. You need to watch other types of shows, but if you could have a show to watch that isn't wrestling but also still is that would be perfect and that's what Total Divas is. Hulk Hogan's Rock N Wrestling is/was the same thing for kids of the 80s. It's wrestling, but just barely. I'm glad it exists.
This week's episode, The Four Legged Pickpocket, doesn't offer an opening scene with a wrestler doing something (boo) and gets straight to the cartoon after the opening theme so that's what we're going to do. Based on the picture above I think this episode is about a horse who steals. Hogan then tracks the stealing horse to the Kentucky Derby where he enters himself into the race and wins by 10 lengths, costing Roddy Piper millions in gambling losses. Let's see how right I am! Read More →